Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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