i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
