I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Farmville is her only friend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
