I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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