I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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