Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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