it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
