All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
