whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
