first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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