insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize