you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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