Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
