Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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