my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???