I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...