just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"