I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
