So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
