You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
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Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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