It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
