Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize