Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
