just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize