I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
