I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
