butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
