we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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