hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I understand Curling. That high.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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