My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
