i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
