There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
