8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm too high and old for this...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
