he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
