I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize