Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize