She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
