You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
