It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
