I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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