Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
