it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have fence marks all over my body
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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