My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
