I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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