Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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