Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
