I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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