This is not my ceiling
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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