I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
