i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
