yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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