This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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