i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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