a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
