I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
