all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
