I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
