I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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