I want to stick my p in your. b.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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