So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
