Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
